Praise responsibility. Keep in mind that it’s just as important to
reward your child’s responsible behavior as it is to comment on her mistakes.
In fact, it’s even more important, because your praise and recognition means
more to your child than just about anything else. Don’t overdo it, however, or
it can lose its impact. (The experts say the right balance is to compliment
your child about three times as often as you criticize her.) Here are some
other tips for using praise:
• Be specific. Tell your child exactly what you like about
her behavior. “I appreciate your taking the trash out without being asked. I
know that’s not your favorite chore.”
• Notice effort.
Don’t wait until your child completes a task to give praise. Comment on her
improvement every step of the way.
• Reminisce. Every
once in a while, mention a past accomplishment. For example, “Remember the
first time you took Barkey for his afternoon walk? I think you were surprised
at how happy that made him.”
• Chart success. If
your child is working on a specific goal—getting up, bathed, dressed and to the
breakfast table without being prodded, for example—keep track of her progress.
Make a simple weekly chart that lists each step in the process. Put a star or
check mark under each step that she completes successfully.
• Brag. Occasionally, let your child overhear you talking
about her accomplishments to others.
• Give awards. Words aren’t the only form of praise. Try
giving awards, such as the “Self-Starter Award.” Each week, recognize the
family member who took the most responsibility for doing things without being
reminded.
from The Parent Institute
